


What Ifs

by NerdyGrlWonder



Category: Sleepy Hollow (TV)
Genre: Angst, Emotions, F/M, Not Actually Unrequited Love, Unresolved Emotional Tension, Unspoken Confessions
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-07
Updated: 2015-12-07
Packaged: 2018-05-05 10:15:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 825
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5371574
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NerdyGrlWonder/pseuds/NerdyGrlWonder
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What if she hadn’t been there? What if Jack’s blade had nicked or pierced a vital organ and there was no way of saving him? What if Pandora was right and Ichabod bled out in her arms, leaving her alone once again?</p>
            </blockquote>





	What Ifs

**Author's Note:**

> @rashaka over on tumblr had asked the fandom “if ichabbie had hooked up for (or kissed) at one point before the mid-season finale, what episode do you think that would have been in?” I had my own headcanon that Abbie would have kissed Crane while he slept off the pain meds at the end of the Jack the Ripper episode. I was then asked by @terminalnerdism to continue and make it into a fic. Well... here you go.

If you weren’t already laying half-dead on my couch, I’d fucking kill you, Ichabod Crane. Abbie tried, repeatedly, to read the magazine in her hands but she was enraged and had every intention of laying into Crane as soon as he woke up from his drug induced stupor. He was always trying to be so damn noble at the most inopportune times. He was constantly put his life, and the lives of those around him in jeopardy.

What if she hadn’t been there? What if Jack’s blade had nicked or pierced a vital organ and there was no way of saving him? What if Pandora was right and Ichabod bled out in her arms, leaving her alone once again? What if Abbie lost him before she’d let the remaining walls of her heart fall and she finally came clean with him?

When he wakes up, I’m gonna rake him over the coals…

“Lieutenant?” Even with all of the discomfort he had to have been in, through the hazy fog of painkillers, his first waking thought was of her. You’re not getting off that easy jackass…

“They’ve got you on some powerful stuff so take it easy.” Okay. Maybe you are going to get off that easy. She was furious with him and rightfully so. He was willing to let himself die in order to save the day but he’d done it without asking her if she was okay with it. Without thinking about how she would feel to lose him from her life – again and this time permanently. He seemed to care enough now though, rising from the couch as if to protect her when she spoke of Pandora’s appearance.

“Did she hurt you?” he asks. What do you even care? Had I not thought to call for an ambulance, you would have been dead and she could have done what she liked with me.

And I would have let her…

Abbie didn’t want to think about that crumb of honesty that sat poised to dive off of the tip of her tongue. To think about it meant that what she was feeling was real. It was an emotion deeper than she allowed herself to believe. No. She wouldn’t satisfy that stupid and painful part of her wall-protected heart. She wouldn’t admit – to herself or to anyone else - that wanted to tell him she loved him. Nope. Not going to happen. Especially when he’s all doped up and fist bumping me.

“I am most grateful, Lieutenant, that you and I have found one another once again.”

Damnit, Crane. She watched as the painkillers took hold of him once again lulling him back to sleep. Had he been awake, he would have seen the terror written plainly across her face. Sure, they may have found each other but just that quickly, she’d almost lost him. Again. Abbie couldn’t do this anymore. She refused. No one had ever gotten under her skin the way that Ichabod Crane had and she would no longer allow it. Going forward, she’d do everything in her power to push him away, to keep him at a distance.

Rising to head to bed where she could will her heart to rest through dreams, Abbie stopped and pulled the blanket up over Ichabod’s torso. tucking it gently around him. She watched him breathe deeply and evenly. Abbie had always found him handsome, but in his slumber, the last few years of trials and tribulations fell from his features to revealed an almost angelic and youthful look.

Abbie brushed a stray lock of hair away from his eyes, leaned over and placed the softest of kisses on his slightly parted lips. She’d push him away starting first thing tomorrow. Turning off the lamp, she padded lightly off to her bed to sleep off the day and its accompanying feelings.

* * * *

“Abbie...”

He’d dreamed of her before. In fact, Ichabod dreamed of Abbie almost every night and had been for longer than would be considered respectable taking into account he’d been married for part of that time. Still, every time they touched or kissed in his dreams, he knew in his heart that it wasn’t real. It didn’t feel real. This time it was different.

It had felt real.

Ichabod brought his fingers to his mouth. He could have sworn he’d felt her small hand brush the hair from his face. He could smell the combination of jasmine, Shea and her own natural scent waft into his senses. He had felt her lips press against his own. So full; so soft. But when he opened his eyes, the light was off and she wasn’t there.

Ichabod supposed he’d have to chalk it up to the longings of his heart being further prodded by the aid of the substantial pain medication he was on. Closing his eyes once again, he allowed his fevered dreams to play out all of the scenarios he’d imagined but never dared implement.

**Author's Note:**

> As always, I do not own Sleepy Hollow nor any of the characters therein.


End file.
